He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
