cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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