Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
