i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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