I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
