just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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