When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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