"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
When did angry sex become our thing?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Im part way to drunk.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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