Will you blow on my dice?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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