We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You pole danced in your parka.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize