Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
