dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
