I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
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We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
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Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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