If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
