If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
