its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
