It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
