i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
