Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
