we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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