super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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