so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
