Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come see our sink grown plant.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize