Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
