i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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