Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The air was thick with penises
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
