he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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