Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
