she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
