Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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