Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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