i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
