If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
