Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
