hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
