Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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