he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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