you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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