i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
