ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
