alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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