What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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