champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
