**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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