yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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