if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
where are my eyebrows?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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