Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
