I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He better not be in your backpack
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
