all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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