i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
