I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
