I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
