I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
