we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
