So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
