Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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