My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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