So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
