I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
