Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
