OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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