he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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