that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
