i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize