Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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