Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
