I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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